The Wedding Weekend Ends...

After the farewell ceremony, we went one last time to the first uncle’s house where we were greeted by some dancers and musicians. At second glance, we realized these weren’t just average dancers, but rather transvestites. It was unclear whether they were actually invited, as they are known to just show up to weddings and celebrations for births of first born males. I foolishly missed getting a photo when Jimmy was called up to dance. The surprises just never ceased.

Rather than eat another late night dinner, we caught a ride back to the hotel with the newlyweds. I was thrilled to have a chance to talk with Roohi and to assure her that I would be available to help ease her transition into life in Holland. We ended our evening on a phone call with our property manager in North Carolina, who informed us that our beautiful home had been devastatingly damaged by a burst water pipe. Being notified about the damage while in India, then trying to make all the arrangements for the reconstruction in the past weeks has been surreal.

The Farewell Ceremony...

Davinder’s father told us he needed to drop off the bridal couple at another uncle’s apartment for a farewell ceremony, then would pick us up for the final event of the evening. He then changed his mind and brought us to the farewell ceremony so that we wouldn’t miss anything. Before the newlyweds could enter the apartment, each woman had to wave a silver flask of milk in a circle seven times then take a sip to bless them with fertility.
This event was quite emotional for Roohi as she bid farewell to her brother, her only family member present. To help keep things on a lighter note, she and Davinder played several games. Here they are feeling for a ring in a bowl of milk. The first to find it would supposedly wear the pants in the family. We didn’t understand much of what happened, but it was fascinating and we felt honored to be included.

A Wedding Like No Other...

The wedding service was an hour long and included a lot of blessings and readings from the sacred book. We were happy to see a large screen with many of the prayers translated. When Davinder and Roohi circled the altar four times, they were officially married. Afterwards, we headed back to the hotel for a late lunch and the newlywed’s first dance. It was great fun when we all did a conga line around the room. We missed the final ceremony at the hotel when Roohi was carried in flowered cage (similar to a palanquin that royalty would be carried in) to signify leaving her family and joining Davinder’s.

At the Temple...

We finally arrived at the temple, about two hours late. We dropped off our shoes at the shoe check, then rinsed our hands and feet. Davinder’s uncle fashioned a turban for Jimmy out of the scarf that all the men on Davinder’s side of the family wore. I received a lot of compliments for wearing Indian clothes.

The Couple Sees Each Other...

It’s always fun watching when a bridal couple sees each other in their wedding clothes for the first time and this was no exception. Of course, this wedding was quite different from any other we’ve been to since we spent so much time with the groom over the last few days, and were now just getting to see the bride for the first time. After they posed for photos for the photographer and videographer team for each family, we all headed to the temple.

The Wedding Day Brunch...

When we arrived at the hotel, we gathered outside. The band and wedding cart arrived and we continued our procession of dancing and singing to the front of the hotel. The bride’s family greeted us with a song and leis for Davinder and his parents.

The groom’s family hadn’t expected to see Roohi until we were at the temple. When I saw this golden princess walking towards us, I thought maybe I was seeing things. She made quite a grand entrance wearing a sari made from the most intricate fabric I’ve ever seen.

Clogging up the Main Street...

We were surprised when we walked out onto the main street completely disregarding that we were blocking traffic. People were looking down from their windows and balconies at the spectacle.
We hadn’t walked very far before we came to the cars that would take us to the hotel where the bride’s parents were hosting a brunch.

Dancing in the Street...

Money was once again waved around as part of a blessing and then given to the band members.
Davinder’s 15-year-old cousin, called Laughing Beauty by her teacher, looked so grown up in her golden sari. Her smile was definitely infectious.

The Wedding Parade...

After the ceremony, it was time for a wedding parade. The brass band led the way as we walked and danced down the street through the neighborhood followed by Davinder in his wedding cart with his 5-year-old cousin as his best man (who had no duties, but qualified as he’s unmarried). James enjoyed playing photographer despite the presence of a professional.

Traditions for the Wedding Morning...

There were more ceremonies in the small tent to bless Davinder. A traditional headdress was pinned on that could be used to cover his face for the marriage ceremony; historically, this could help prevent a wedding couple from chickening out when they first see each other during an arranged marriage.
When it was our turn to bless Davinder and feed him, I partially missed and got some of the sweet concoction stuck in his beard.

Surprises Around Every Corner..

While waiting for the morning’s activities to get started, of which we still had no idea what was actually going to happen, we were surprised to see members of a brass band heading our direction.
Shortly thereafter, a horse-drawn wedding cart pulled up. They all waiting patiently for the morning’s ceremony to be over.

Dressed Up for the Wedding...

Finally the big day had arrived with surprises around every corner. We headed back to the uncle’s house for yet some more ceremonies. First, Davinder gave all the men a scarf to identify them as members of his wedding party. Here the groom poses with his work colleagues. I teased him about being a rental boy since he rented his wedding outfit.
I felt like the poor cousin when posing next to the ladies in their lovely outfits (in the center is Mandy in the outfit I helped pick out), but was very thankful that I was at least able to borrow a traditional Punjabi suit.

Sunday’s Cocktail Party...

Sunday evening there was yet another party, this time at the Taj Hotel, the only 5-star in Chandigarh. Davinder was disappointed when his party was moved out of the reserved banquet hall to a poolside tent, but the result was magical. The women were dressed in lots of sparkling Punjabi suits and saris; luckily I was able to borrow a golden tunic to wear with a long black skirt so that I wasn’t underdressed. While the other ladies refrained from drinking alcohol, the waiters thought it was funny that I was drinking wine while the men mostly drank whiskey. After dinner, we had fun dancing to a Filipino duet performing Western music and a DJ playing Indian music. We went to sleep at midnight, our earliest night yet.

The Official Engagement...

After the blessings were completed by the priests, there was a ceremony in which Davinder became officially engaged. Then there came a series of blessings from family members, many of which included gifts of money. Although the bride didn’t make an appearance, her closest family arrived bearing baskets of food (we were surprised to see Pringles and Cadbury chocolates). Since Sikhs don’t believe in dowries, these gifts were brought as blessings for Davinder’s family. Afterwards, there was a very nice luncheon buffet for 100 guests.

More Chanting...

After the priests finished their blessings, several elderly ladies went on stage to chant additional blessings for another hour. They played bongos, a table piano/accordion and funny colored plastic tambourines.
Afterwards, I was greatly surprised when the ladies came up to me to thank me for being there. Davinder’s grandmother also touched my arm as she wanted to feel a freckle since she’d never seen one before.

Sunday’s Religious Service...

As there wasn’t a written schedule for the weekend, we often joked about whether the timing of the next event was Indian time or UK time. As it turned out, all of the events were Indian time and started anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours late. This religious service was no different.

Three priests from the honored Golden Temple came to give a blessing, which is chanted and lasted about an hour. Luckily we were able to get up and down as sitting on the ground for that long wasn’t as easy as you’d think. You can see what a wide range of colors and designs that the ladies wore.
The Sikh’s holy book was covered unless it was being read from. The scriptures are a spiritual guide of 1,430 pages long, composed by the ten Sikh gurus between 1469 to 1708.

Preparing for Sunday’s Service...

As we would be attending a religious service in the presence of the Sikh holy scriptures, we had to cover our heads and remove our shoes. I was loaned a tan scarf that matched my skirt, but James and Mark didn’t blend in as much with their orange handkerchiefs.
The family actually hired a security guard to watch over our shoes during the service.

The Big Party Tent...

We were extremely impressed with what we saw when we arrived at Davinder’s uncle’s on Sunday morning. The big tent was finished with one half set up for a religious service, as shown above, and the other for a luncheon for 100 guests, as shown below. We were extremely lucky with the weather as this tent would not have offered any protection from wind or rain, but that wasn’t a worry as it had warmed up just that week and was perfect for an outdoor event.

Before and After Sunday’s Service...

Since Friday night, we’d watched a much larger tent being built directly next to the tent we’d already had three meals in. We’d heard that the workers would be there through the night to finalize everything for Sunday morning, but yet were still surprised at all that had been accomplished. The above photo shows the workers still have a long way to go. The below photo was taken Monday morning after the enormous tent was dismantled and the park was being swept clean.

Saturday Night’s Party…

Despite the hotel only being less than a mile away, there was no safe way to walk back. We hitched a ride so we could change for Party #2 that evening. I didn’t realize there would be so many parties, so I didn’t have anything to wear. Mandy loaned me one of her outfits combining Indian trousers with a European blouse and sweater.

Soon after we arrived back at the tent, a singer and band started performing. The women were told to sit on the chairs in the front of the room. Shawn’s mother tried explaining what was happening, although some of it is still a mystery. Much of the ceremony revolved around a variation of the money dance (the money was actually given to the band rather than the bride and groom, mostly in $0.25 increments) and feeding the groom (a sweet concoction of flour, sugar, butter and water—all that you need to sustain life).