I’m afraid that I never did find out what this particular tradition signified. One of Davinder’s aunts started carrying this pot with lit oil lamps on her head from across the street. Different women took turns walking into to the front of the room, then all the rest of the women took a turn. I was surprised when I was called up for a turn as well.
One of the difficult things about visiting a developing country like India is obviously the large difference between those who have and those who don’t. We heard that some folks are actually able to live on just 1 rupee a day which is just a little more than $0.02. While these same gaps occur throughout the world, it was quite evident that this wedding was for well-off foreigners. Some of the local kids hung out near the tent and at one point a few of them even broke in. Earlier in the day, a hand had reached under the tent and taken some sweets off of the buffet table. When the bands played at various events, the players would scramble for the 10 rupee notes ($0.22) that were given away. We then felt guilty that we weren’t handing out 10 rupee notes everywhere we went.
When the henna first goes on, it’s brown. Then as it dries, it becomes an even darker brown before the outer layer starts to peel away after about two hours. Then it turns bright orange until it once again darkens overnight. The darker it is the next morning, the more your mother-in-law is supposed to love you. Mandy’s was very dark; she hopes that means there’s a mother-in-law just waiting to love her, but that she just hasn’t met her yet.
The official wedding functions started Saturday morning. We were thrilled to be accepted as part of the groom’s family, but were surprised that the bride wasn’t included. Since weddings were traditionally arranged, there was little incentive for the families of the past to get to know each other. As this wedding followed tradition closely, the bride and her family were not included and were celebrating in their own way.
Davinder explained that poor girls were unable to afford bangles for their wedding day, so they started decorating with henna. The tradition has now stuck and even the ladies on the groom’s side of the family were happy to sit still for two hours while it dried. No surprise, but I wasn’t as patient, so I only had one hand done and passed on doing my feet. Luckily I had a little more patience than the 2-year-old who had her hands immediately wiped off before she smudged the designs.
In addition to the good fortune of having a park across from his uncle’s house, it was also lucky that there was an empty lot next door in which the caterers could prepare the meals for the various parties. It was best not to think about the lack of running water and bathrooms for the workers and just enjoy the food. We especially liked the bread that was cooked on the side of a barrel (again, it’s best not to think about what kind of chemical was previously in that barrel).
We didn’t bring the camera to the dinner on Friday night at Davinder’s mother’s brother’s house. We were surprised when we arrived to find lights hanging down the four storeys and a tent set up across the street. There were about 30 people for this catered dinner celebrating both Davinder and the wedding anniversary of his cousin. The top photo was taken on Saturday morning before the Bridal Mendhi Party began. That night there was a second party and the back of the tent was opened up and expanded to include a stage and dance floor as shown in this photo. Next door, an even larger tent was being built.
