Uninvited Guests...

One of the difficult things about visiting a developing country like India is obviously the large difference between those who have and those who don’t. We heard that some folks are actually able to live on just 1 rupee a day which is just a little more than $0.02. While these same gaps occur throughout the world, it was quite evident that this wedding was for well-off foreigners. Some of the local kids hung out near the tent and at one point a few of them even broke in. Earlier in the day, a hand had reached under the tent and taken some sweets off of the buffet table. When the bands played at various events, the players would scramble for the 10 rupee notes ($0.22) that were given away. We then felt guilty that we weren’t handing out 10 rupee notes everywhere we went.

Changing Colors...

When the henna first goes on, it’s brown. Then as it dries, it becomes an even darker brown before the outer layer starts to peel away after about two hours. Then it turns bright orange until it once again darkens overnight. The darker it is the next morning, the more your mother-in-law is supposed to love you. Mandy’s was very dark; she hopes that means there’s a mother-in-law just waiting to love her, but that she just hasn’t met her yet.

Saturday’s Bridal Mendhi Party...

The official wedding functions started Saturday morning. We were thrilled to be accepted as part of the groom’s family, but were surprised that the bride wasn’t included. Since weddings were traditionally arranged, there was little incentive for the families of the past to get to know each other. As this wedding followed tradition closely, the bride and her family were not included and were celebrating in their own way.

While I had expected that at some point I might have a henna tattoo on my hand, I didn’t know that there would be an entire afternoon centering on that very thing. Soon after we arrived back at the tent at Davinder’s uncle’s house, two men arrived and started mixing up the henna. They then started working on each of the ladies’ hands. I’d never been hennaed before, so I didn’t really know what to expect. It was surprisingly fast; it took less than 15 minutes for both sides of my hand.

Henna Tattoos for All the Ladies...

Davinder explained that poor girls were unable to afford bangles for their wedding day, so they started decorating with henna. The tradition has now stuck and even the ladies on the groom’s side of the family were happy to sit still for two hours while it dried. No surprise, but I wasn’t as patient, so I only had one hand done and passed on doing my feet. Luckily I had a little more patience than the 2-year-old who had her hands immediately wiped off before she smudged the designs.

An Outdoor Kitchen...

In addition to the good fortune of having a park across from his uncle’s house, it was also lucky that there was an empty lot next door in which the caterers could prepare the meals for the various parties. It was best not to think about the lack of running water and bathrooms for the workers and just enjoy the food. We especially liked the bread that was cooked on the side of a barrel (again, it’s best not to think about what kind of chemical was previously in that barrel).

The Small Party Tent...

We didn’t bring the camera to the dinner on Friday night at Davinder’s mother’s brother’s house. We were surprised when we arrived to find lights hanging down the four storeys and a tent set up across the street. There were about 30 people for this catered dinner celebrating both Davinder and the wedding anniversary of his cousin. The top photo was taken on Saturday morning before the Bridal Mendhi Party began. That night there was a second party and the back of the tent was opened up and expanded to include a stage and dance floor as shown in this photo. Next door, an even larger tent was being built.

Shopping in Chandigarh...

We should have taken a nap, but instead we went to Sector 17, the shopping district. This area was filled with very nice stores on the ground floor, but looked largely deserted on higher levels. There were some persistent beggars, who we were better prepared for with pens and candy on our second visit.

Sister-in-law Shawn from London came along to try to help me find an outfit for the wedding. Luckily I had borrowed an Indian suit from a friend in The Hague, as we quickly discovered I was too broad-shouldered for the affordable suits. I especially enjoyed my return visit the next morning with Mandy (a cousin from London). Rather than search through racks, a salesman had her sit and brought her elaborate and colorful outfits to choose from. I was surprised that they didn’t ask more about what she was looking for or made recommendations based on her figure, but rather just filled up the counter with options. Amazingly, she found two lovely outfits and left very happy.